Do you know what it feels like: that ‘stop’ of everything you are, as you realize that you really don’t matter? When I say that your soul breaks and you want to die, do you know what I’m talking about? I didn’t ask to struggle with these things, but that does not change the fact that I still bear them, and – I think – for the glory of God.
It has a way of bringing us back around where we end up needing to be. But it hurts so much, I think – too much. And I see a generation who feels this way and doesn’t know where to go or what to do about it except to end it – permanently. Unquestionably tragic. Heartbreaking. Because at the moment that I feel the least, God can be closest. This is truth; it’s not up for debate.
When things fall apart, all I want to do is not feel it. Head-knowledge does not help here. And the easiest thing to do is give up, because you feel worthless. And then I see his face.
There is nothing you can do to ignore it. Pay your attention elsewhere, but you won’t escape what I’m about to tell you. I saw his face – Jesus’ – and it broke my already-broken heart. On the cross, dying, bleeding, his eyes… branded into my core this one thing; without a word he cried out to me:
“You’re worth it – every second of it – you’re worth it! You are worth dying for! You are what’s keeping me going! When they drove these nails through my arms, your face flashed though my mind, and made it no sacrifice at all. I thought of you when they beat these thorns into my forehead, and I shouted, ‘you’re worth it!’ There is no way in this universe that a cross could stand in between me and you – there is nothing! Because I LOVE YOU. And I would gladly go through this again for you.
You call yourself worthless.
I call you priceless.”
